piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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