We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
