Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
