I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
