oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
