He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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