Grow some girl-balls and come out already
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
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theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
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I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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