Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
