he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
