Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
