watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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