I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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