You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
