after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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