just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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