I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
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