drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
My Sexting was not on an AP level
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
