Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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