im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
