"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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