Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
be right there i have to get my cape
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
