I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
