If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
whose ass print is on the piano?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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