if i can run in heels then i can drive
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
