I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Randomize
