I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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