As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
