Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
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