Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
You can't special order awesome
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
