But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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