and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
