Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(303): View more from Colorado

He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?

Fav 6 1132 2144
share tweet
(214): View more from Texas

a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener

Fav 6 805 2443
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(716): View more from New York

since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?

Fav 85 2085 7302
share tweet
(785): View more from Kansas

Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.

Fav 83 10172 1164
share tweet
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(864): View more from South Carolina

you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night

Fav 13 10355 1132
share tweet
(732): View more from New Jersey

My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore

Fav 38 5528 1943
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(973): View more from New Jersey

So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it

Fav 29 5656 2082
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(804): View more from Virginia

the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.

Fav 1 944 717
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(708): View more from Illinois

Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.

Fav 0 16 29
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT