Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
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Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
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...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.