I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
We got so high we made milksteak
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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