ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
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how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
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I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"