She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.