Texts From Last Night

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  (646): View more from New York

  Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?

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  (646): Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"? http://tfl.nu/cjp8
  Replies (7) Good night (1121) Bad night (533)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.

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  (613): he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom. http://tfl.nu/9esh
  Replies (58) Good night (832) Bad night (11569)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"

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  (402): They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman" http://tfl.nu/zber
  Replies (36) Good night (3806) Bad night (923)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.

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  (610): Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand. http://tfl.nu/ms96
  Replies (10) Good night (4509) Bad night (1297)
• Favorite

  (660): View more from Missouri

  There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK

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  (660): There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK http://tfl.nu/9rna
  Replies (10) Good night (1394) Bad night (3017)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.

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  (610): He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house. http://tfl.nu/tthj
  Replies (3) Good night (1885) Bad night (838)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.

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  (519): No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home. http://tfl.nu/it1o
  Replies (2) Good night (639) Bad night (1564)
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  (310): View more from California

  Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.

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  (310): Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting. http://tfl.nu/us8p
  Replies (4) Good night (1201) Bad night (604)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.

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  (425): Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now. http://tfl.nu/y7g1
  Replies (6) Good night (1450) Bad night (557)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.

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  (706): You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT. http://tfl.nu/osv9
  Replies (4) Good night (1039) Bad night (424)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it

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  (765): This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it http://tfl.nu/dka3
  Replies (7) Good night (583) Bad night (988)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.

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  (219): Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel. http://tfl.nu/qebb
  Replies (8) Good night (2256) Bad night (621)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message

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  (216): Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message http://tfl.nu/1r6g
  Replies (5) Good night (515) Bad night (492)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY

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  (406): if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY http://tfl.nu/qo5y
  Replies (1) Good night (691) Bad night (295)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!

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  (603): He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state! http://tfl.nu/c11d
  Replies (1) Good night (381) Bad night (188)

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