the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
No I am not eating basil off your cock
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
