i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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