It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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