nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
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