i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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