is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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