were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
