It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
