no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
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