I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
