ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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