He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Randomize