Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
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