White coat. Heels.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
