You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
