Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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