so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
