Nicole vs. Life
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
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I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
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All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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