Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
