Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
