the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
