I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
