Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
