Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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