the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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