nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
