Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
