The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
